Parenting your College Student – or Saying No Long Distance
Boomers learn it is still possible to parent, even when their child is away at college.
When people used to tell me that the reason I was involved in so much was because I didn’t know how to say no, I would joke, “Of course I can say no! I’m a mother! I can say no without hearing the question!”
It’s a good thing I got all that practice!
Brittany called me during her second week at college to tell me that two of her good friends who were attending different schools from hers had gotten their noses pierced! I have known both of these girls since early grade school and neither is the type I would expect to do this. But, I knew Brittany wasn’t telling me this just to pass the news along. With teenagers there is always a hidden agenda.
And it’s not that she wanted to get her nose pierced herself!
No, it was the beginning of a different campaign.
She loves to take pictures and when she does, she puts them online in folders to share with people. When she sends them to me she makes sure we are both on the phone looking at them at the same time so she can tell me about her new friends.
“Look, Mom! That’s my friend Andrea. I went with her when she got her tongue pierced!”
“She pierced her tongue?” “UH! You took a picture of her tongue???”
“And, Mom, look where Taylor pierced her ear. I think it’s cute! Have you ever seen anyone pierce that part of the ear before?”
Actually I hadn’t. It’s the part of the ear that holds your iPod earbuds in. You know, the part that looks like it would really hurt if you put a hole in it!
Brittany has three holes in each ear (all around the rims) and I’m pretty sure she’s happy with that. So where was she going with all of this?
Tattoos! Yup! Christmas break freshman year she was home for a whole month. She planned to babysit and save the money to get a “small, tasteful tattoo”. (I personally don’t think those words go together.) When she was telling me about it she suggested a tiny pink cross. I told her pink would look like a scar. She said, “Well, maybe teal then.” I wrinkled up my nose.
I told her I would write about this for the newspaper. She said “Wait till I get it and I’ll take a picture of the tattoo to include!” I know she could get one in a place I would never see. I also know Brittany is incapable of keeping a secret from me! So we are at a friendly standoff….it could be a whole lot worse! 
Nancy Geiger and her husband are empty nesters with their daughter Brittany (their only child) now a junior at college. When she left home Nancy started writing a monthly column for their local weekly paper about parenting a college student long distance. After 17 years as a travel agent for American Express, Nancy decided to commit herself to freelance writing and starting an online store, 2 blogs, a website and LOTS of volunteering! She even just published a cookbook called A Brides Cookbook or surviving the First Year. http://abridescookbook.com
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